...so i touched it.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
