Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
did i just pee glitter
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
