you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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