Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
