Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize
