Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize