Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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