I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
