I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
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I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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