so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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