Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
