What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
