He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
