Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  You got in a fight last night?

  (818): View more from California

  Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.

  (323): View more from California

  Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?

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  (323): You got in a fight last night? (818): Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since. (323): Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you? http://tfl.nu/hf09
  Replies (132) Good night (8804) Bad night (24370)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?

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  (432): I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!? http://tfl.nu/8eh6
  Replies (21) Good night (821) Bad night (5121)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  home. puking in laundry basket.

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  (514): home. puking in laundry basket. http://tfl.nu/2psg
  Replies (15) Good night (781) Bad night (3254)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like

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  (571): On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like http://tfl.nu/th56
  Replies (10) Good night (1035) Bad night (4743)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.

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  (734): I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again. http://tfl.nu/x69l
  Replies (24) Good night (1480) Bad night (5388)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."

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  (919): Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform." http://tfl.nu/nw1x
  Replies (11) Good night (5504) Bad night (1005)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b

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  (803): He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b http://tfl.nu/qxl5
  Replies (9) Good night (1578) Bad night (4610)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Im calling him

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember

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  (606): Im calling him (606): was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember http://tfl.nu/dfbx
  Replies (1) Good night (1154) Bad night (686)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.

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  (918): I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control. http://tfl.nu/enjx
  Replies (4) Good night (1182) Bad night (562)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.

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  (828): you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire. http://tfl.nu/efxs
  Replies (7) Good night (1601) Bad night (533)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi

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  (321): Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi http://tfl.nu/jeyc
  Replies (3) Good night (596) Bad night (1089)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.

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  (+61): A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty. http://tfl.nu/ftfe
  Replies (2) Good night (697) Bad night (373)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.

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  (443): Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls. http://tfl.nu/mn9e
  Replies (1) Good night (442) Bad night (374)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.

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  (732): My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places. http://tfl.nu/xqpe
  Replies (0) Good night (564) Bad night (385)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though

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  (757): the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though http://tfl.nu/2nyf
  Replies (0) Good night (449) Bad night (363)

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