there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug