i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.