Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.

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  (617): i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk. http://tfl.nu/yxee
  Replies (14) Good night (3399) Bad night (1519)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating

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  (704): i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating http://tfl.nu/bh4g
  Replies (22) Good night (3533) Bad night (1356)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.

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  (325): I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well. http://tfl.nu/zrfa
  Replies (19) Good night (6957) Bad night (1408)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.

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  (502): I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap. http://tfl.nu/9a2a
  Replies (25) Good night (4496) Bad night (1609)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..

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  (617): Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear.. http://tfl.nu/yx7i
  Replies (7) Good night (989) Bad night (2036)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.

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  (850): Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing. http://tfl.nu/n4ke
  Replies (18) Good night (4178) Bad night (1766)
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  (315): View more from New York

  and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...

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  (315): and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame... http://tfl.nu/05iu
  Replies (8) Good night (2677) Bad night (1091)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.

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  (405): Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights. http://tfl.nu/1mso
  Replies (3) Good night (2869) Bad night (866)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"

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  (407): I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry" http://tfl.nu/fy98
  Replies (4) Good night (582) Bad night (1197)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap

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  (231): Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap http://tfl.nu/aur6
  Replies (9) Good night (507) Bad night (1062)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover

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  (214): If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover http://tfl.nu/4860
  Replies (6) Good night (324) Bad night (794)
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  (315): View more from New York

  So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.

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  (315): So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt. http://tfl.nu/iloo
  Replies (1) Good night (586) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.

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  (516): On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER. http://tfl.nu/qydu
  Replies (2) Good night (765) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year

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  (253): I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year http://tfl.nu/c4bo
  Replies (2) Good night (445) Bad night (361)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"

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  (606): And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?" http://tfl.nu/s0we
  Replies (4) Good night (570) Bad night (377)

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