I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Dating After Heartbreak
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative