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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Do you have a shampoo for semen

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Or a time machine

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  It's just like the Real World with babies

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball

  (419): View more from Ohio

  And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it

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• (315): View more from New York

  If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.

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