Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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