we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
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I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
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I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?