You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
