are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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