I feel great
I just peed on a car
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
