Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
