I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
