Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
