I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize