I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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