is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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