his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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