"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
