I'd wear matching sweaters with you
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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