another moral hangover. fuck.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
