He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
