So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
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I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
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You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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