what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
