the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
