i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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