They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
