i don't like sucking hair
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Randomize
