We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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