How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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