it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....