After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She needs sedatives and a leash
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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