I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
