I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
