No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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