bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
