What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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