Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize