But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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