i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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