Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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