Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I have demons in me.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
