He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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