Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
