I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
