Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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