I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox