i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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