wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
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