Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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