You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
