Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
